As a leader I’m faced with making tough decisions, that invariably, make someone upset. I used to simply think that I wasn’t going to make everyone happy, and leave it at that. I’m realizing now, there is much more to decisions, unpopular ones included, and reflect on that below.
Using the statement “You can’t please everyone,” or “You can’t make everyone happy” is a total cop-out.
Saying this absolves you of all responsibility for building consensus and buy-in on a new idea or solution. It also makes it sound like the parties that don’t agree with you are simply complaining, which often is not the case at all.
The statements fail to get at the root or deeper issues of a problem
Recently, we took a survey as a staff and I received two polar opposite feedback points – one person loved a special event we put on, one person hated it. This trend continued until by the end of the survey we were split 60/50. Well – you can’t make everyone happy right? At least 60% of the school liked it!?
If I had said that, I would have failed to look at the deeper issues and statements behind the feedback. In this case, both the ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ had shared communication was a challenge for the event. Only for the ‘dislikes’, it became a dealbreaker for the event. A few tweaks and everyone can get on board for this event next year
These statements shut down future feedback
Imagine when a person who disagrees with a decision is simply told, or overhears, “well we can’t make everyone happy!’ Is that person going to feel like their opinion was valued? Is that person going to continue to give feedback, knowing that if the group disagrees, they will just be seen as the “unhappy” lot who can’t be a team player?
Instead:
- Approach disagreement as good
- Don’t make it a ‘this’ or ‘that’ decision – Look for all the qualities that will make the end goal complete, then go about solving the problem from there.
- Think through the best way to solicit feedback before a decision is made (survey, face to face, open/closed questions)
- Explain the good points and relevant feedback from the option or options that were not chosen
- Explain the ‘why’ behind the final decision
- Build acceptance, not agreement
- Continue listening to feedback as the decision is implemented.
Sean D'Abreu 